I wonder how much more I’ll have to take in order to be okay

Mixed media collage with prescription packaging inserts, old journal paper, and handmade paper, 10.5"x8.5", 2024

 

2.11.22

My mind is on the run

Running away from me and

What I truly believe

My mind is never at ease

It fights to take the lead

And my heart hurts

Because I still haven’t learned

To give it a voice

It feels like a relapse

When I retract and

I’m screaming on the inside

Clawing at my skin

Banging on the walls within my brain

A headache

I’m tired

Had 10 hours and I still show up late

Sleep can’t cure this feeling

My blood is boiling

My head’s swelling

Can’t believe what I’ve been telling myself

Can’t look for it in anyone else

Can’t scream, can’t yell

I want to cry, it doesn’t help

I get hot, it’s heating up

Inside I try to hide

I Lost another life

Shed another skin

Down to my bones

I cry and moan

It’s uneasy in there

And I’m scared of it

Eating me alive

How can I put on a face

And be brave

When the pain is

Trying to put me in a grave

 
 
 
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Send it into the sea, let it wash over me